Highland Fling 24 April 2010

How NOT to run an ultra.....

Put the waves of nausea the day before and immediately prior to the race down to nerves. Arrive at the start of the race on an empty stomach and pray to whoever may be listening that a piece of banana will keep you right til Balmaha. Search for good bush cover for 10 miles and convince yourself that after a trip there you'll be fine. Repeat this at every (frequent) visit. Persuade yourself 20miles in at Balmaha that a fingernail piece of tattie and a slug of coke is plenty fuelling to get to Rowardenen 7 miles away. Ignore the fact that you've already puked and continue to put it all down to nerves.

Convince yourself as you approach Rowardenen that it's the jacket tied around your waist that's causing all the problems and plan to ditch it at the next checkpoint. At said checkpoint ignore the fact that everyone thinks you look like death and after enjoying a real toilet stop and ditching the jacket, soldier on having consumed 2 mini cheddars and a fruit pastill. Promptly hurl them back up once you get out of view, that way they won't haul your ass back and pull you out of the race.

Battle with yourself continually throughout the next section that as long as you can keep running, despite now puking every 2 minutes, you can still finish. Continue this train of thought when even running downhill becomes impossible and particularly when the walk becomes a shuffle. Arrive at Inversnaid and hope that once you open your drop bag everything will be fine. When it's not, inform the marshall that you're not a quitter but seriously ill and seeth too lifeless to knock his teeth out while he very loudly shouts to another marshall "we have a quitter".

Spend the next 2.5 hours debating your decision and contemplate withdrawing your withdrawal and carrying on to Bein Glas for purely logistical reasons before the sweeper arrives and it's no longer an option. Endure the car journey from hell to the finish, forcing the driver to stop every few miles for a puke break. Arrive at the finish a crumpled heap and watch in envy as everyone else celebrates.

Congratulations, you now know how NOT to run an ultra. To do it properly, you'll have to read someone else's blog.

these guys were creeping me out

Obsessing, Tapering and Number Crunching

I'm tapering. It sucks. I have far too much time on my hands and I don't like it. But it's part of the process so I have to do it. I thought that if I belted round a parkrun today it would make me feet better. It didn't. It only whet my appetite further. On a plus note, however, talking with David has made me feel almost sane. He's going through exactly the same emotions as I am.

Currently then I'm analysing previous years' results, reading every race report and blog I can and preparing list upon list upon list. I can recite the splits needed to finish in the various target times (which will not be repeated aloud) of best case, worse case and that'll do case.

I've done the training, I think. I've almost covered more miles this year than the whole of 2008 and it's only mid April. I've done several biggies - a 24, 33, 24, 22, 42, 27 a fair few 18-20s and oodles of everything else.  I hope it's enough, not too little and not too much.

I'm terrified. I'm excited. I just want to get on with it. I'm like a kid at Christmas wishing my life away just to get to that day. I'm grumpy, moody, and contemplative, more so than usual.

But all good flings come to those who wait they say. I hope they're right.

The Long Way Round

Balmaha-Drymen(ish)-Balmana Sunday 4 April 2010

I've done it. I've completed the last piece of the puzzle that is the Highland Fling route. Well, almost.....

It was a toss-up between Conic Hill and Norman's Law hill race on Sunday and even though Norman's Law came highly recommended, I wasn't sure I was in the right frame of mind for a race. And so it was a meander up Conic Hill starting from Balmaha with the intention of going out past Drymen a couple of miles to complete the section I did first but got lost at the end and find that missing link. By 10am I had reached the top of Conic Hill and briefly contempleted Norman's Law too but that would still leave me with a feeling of imcompleteness.

So onwards it was to Drymen where every bugger was out with their trekking poles. I think they're standard issue on coach trips. I hate the things. I don't see the point of them on something like that. It's like those folk training to walk a 5k with a full back-up crew while carrying a litre bottle of water. Why???? Sorry, I digress. A couple of nutters heading to Tyndrum passed by and I was glad to be seen running! At the end of the forest I stopped to check the various maps confident I knew where I was and where I was going, promptly turning left uphill on exit. Wrong.... I eventually turned around and headed down towards Drymen and failing to spot any further posts or signage I carred on through Drymen and out on the (A811) looking for my missing link. I didn't find it.

Having done 11 or so miles already and only really planning 16 for the day, I concluded I was lost again and turned around back to Drymen. I successfully found my way back to the forest, decidedly pissed off that I still had a bit missing. I had a great run through the forest and met Debs at the bottom of Conic Hill pausing for a few minutes chat. I started the climb up Conic and spotted another runner coming up behind me. She was storming up the hill while I was walking (wuss) so I let her get on with it. Towards the descent I could see she wasn't too far ahead so I blasted my way down through the mud, snow, slush and stones to catch up. It was working. I was definitely stronger on the downhill and confident I'd catch up. I nearly did but come the bottom of the hill and into the forest she was off like a rocket. I was pumped up by now and pelted past more walkers hoping to catch up in the car park. I never did, but it had been great fun and my own mini race.

But again something was missing. That tiny section of about a mile or so that I just cannot get. I more or less found it in the car afterwards, but it's just not the same. I think I feel another trip coming on.....